I
couldn’t believe my ears when I got the shocking news of suicide committed by a
young, beautiful, successful and a happily-married acquaintance whom I had
known for a few years and who was working at a reputed media house. To people
who worked with her or knew her, Aisha was always a happy-go-lucky girl and it
was difficult to even imagine her to be under any kind of stress or depression
from the “blissful” life she depicted through her social media posts and
Instagram pictures. Her blog had several followers and she was quite popular in
her social circles for her demeanor, style sense, wit and also her fabulous
networking skills. It was unbelievable to most of her friends and family that
Aisha could take such an extreme step. It reflected the kind of trauma and
depression she must have been under while taking such an action.
Till
the last meeting we had, i.e. a couple of months back, it appeared that Aisha lived
a fairy-tale life and her extravagant lifestyle was a cause of envy in almost
anyone who knew her. She believed in living life king-size and her Facebook
page portrayed that her life was picture perfect. Unfortunately, that was not
the case. Aisha, as found after her death, was suffering from depression,
loneliness and was a victim of substance abuse. However, Aisha’s case is not an exception. There are many who often come across as really happy souls with blissful lives
actually live a life of isolation and despair. Aisha’s
case is just another reflection of the widening gap and sharp contrast between
the two lives we lead in modern times- the virtual one and the real one.
It is strange that popularity of social media
and technology has helped us stay connected to everyone and almost every second
of our lives but despite being connected online more and more, we are
connecting less in real life. Social media platforms has made it very easy for
us to surround ourselves with online cushion of family, friends, followers,
have virtual communications and interactions with anyone sitting anywhere
across the globe and to broadcast each and everything we do. Despite this, we
feel lonely, discontent and depressed. We
make hundreds of Facebook friends but only a few real-life connections and this
is where the root-cause of feeling lonesome lies. Despite being hooked to
mobile messaging apps 24*7, we still feel lonely at heart. We manage to get
hundreds of likes on our images and posts on social media page but very few
among them actually care to respond in times of our crisis.
Often
we have been fooled to believe that connecting online can replace the feeling
of meeting close friends offline, a skype conversation can replace the joy of
speaking face to face with family and loved ones, carrying conversations
through advanced technological tools with distant relatives can work as a
substitute for the joyous feeling one experiences when sharing the same room.
As our lives get busier, online interactions seem a great way to stay connected as it can save a
lot of hassle, time and effort but it still cannot replace the feeling of joy
that one experiences when one dines with family, or makes time to catch up with
friends on chai adda session. We often let precious relationships slip when
we believe that connecting online is enough to be close to our folks and hence
do not make any efforts to reach out personally to meet them up.
I
have nothing against social media and nor am I blaming it for creating modern
day loneliness. In fact it is a highly
effective medium to make connections and build rapport but it is a dangerous
illusion when we believe that it can replace human connections. Liking facebook
posts and tweets is not same as encouraging a dear one with few kind words
while taking a stroll, a flattering comment on twitter does not equate to
meeting for dinner. Although technology
has helped us to reach out to anyone staying anywhere at any point of time and
made us more open with us lives but it still has not changed our desire to
establish deep psychological and emotional connection with people. Virtual
interactions cannot help us heal as much as an emotional connection would do.
We all would agree to the fact that even spending a few minutes of complete
silence in the presence of a close friend can mean more to us than reading or
sending a barrage of comments or tweets on social media platforms.
Most
of us believe that technology and increased dependence on it is really bringing
us closer with others but in reality, more and more people are feeling distant
and devoid of emotional connect. Thanks to social media that we are establishing
links with more and more people but making less attempts to spend quality time with
dear ones and to know more about how they feel. We often forget that technology
can make huge strides but it can never replace human element within any
relationship.
We
might often come up with excuses about not having ample time to strengthen
human connections in modern-day hectic lives but we cannot let technology
become a convenient tool to escape from what is true – real-world empathy is
more important than virtual empathetic responses. Human beings need intimacy,
emotional and psychological connection and deeper understanding from their dear
ones more than virtual connections.
